Can You Really Find How To Be Your Life Main Character?
Being a people pleaser I always felt like I was a side character in my life. Instead of making things happen, I was letting things happen to me. And instead of following my life purpose, I was doing what everyone wanted me to do.
I felt average and I had no excitement in life. I honestly felt like it was someone else’s world and I was just living in it. Until I decided enough was enough. I no longer wanted to be a side character in my own life.
You only have one life, and you should live it as if you were the main character. When an emphasis on the main character's energy is taken too far, however, its self-assured focus can cross the line toward open selfishness.
It's wrong when parents say to their kids to be respectful and listen to people you more experience eventually they are asking to live a life which is someone is already living. It is now totally on us to be your main character of life or live another life.
The questions you should be asking are:
Will your story be trustworthy, true to who you are?
This is what will make it interesting.
How does your story affect those beyond yourself?
It matters less how many people and more how they are affected — positively or negatively?
What would others say your story is about if they watched it unfold?
This tells us what we are doing, not just planning to do.
What will your story say about your character?
This tells us the values we hold, not just the ones we like to think we do.
Instead of considering main character energy as a constant state of being, Allow yourself to pick up this energy when you’re feeling less than or undervalued. In general, a sense of validation can help you communicate from a place of inner strength.
Just as your main character's energy shouldn’t get in the way of others utilizing similar energy in their lives, it should also steer clear of downgrading your cast and crew, so to speak, or the people who may, at times, play supportive roles in your life.
Here are some methods that can help you through this process
Use it as a method of self-care.
Journal or write from the perspective of taking action on those beliefs, or spend a day doing things that you value and attending to your self-care as if you were the most important person in your life.
Focus on documentation.
The main character is not often the director, too. To that end, capturing your main character's energy for social media could detract from the very experience of it and thwart its intended focus on enjoying the present moment.
10 THINGS TO STOP & START DOING TO BECOME THE MAIN CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN LIFE
1. Stop comparing.
To be the main character in your own life is going to require you to start seeing yourself this way.
Start showing up to it without always trying to find someone who is wealthier, more attractive, more talented. There will always be someone who has more (and less) than you.
They get to be the main characters of their stories and guess what, you still get to be the main character of yours with all of your strengths and your flaws, too.
Stop putting other people on a pedestal above you. We are all human, all equal. We all deal with shit, just different kinds of it.
2. Monitoring your wants, needs, boundaries.
An excellent way to stop comparing is to start being curious about yourself instead: your preferences, likes, dislikes, things that make you smile, things that make you feel cozy and comforted, things that excite you, things that challenge you.
Focus on getting to know what needs you have that are unmet: Do you need more connection? More hobbies & interests? Comfort? More manageable goals?
When you spend the time to relate to yourself listening for what makes you happy, it’s much easier to cheer on others going after their joy, too.
Powerful Tips To Develop Your Emotional IntelligenceAnd here is where boundaries come in for protecting your joy. When things and people endanger your safety, your emotional energy, your time, anything of yours it’s time to consider placing a boundary – saying here’s where you stop & start, and here’s where I stop & start.
The main characters are interesting because they have something unique to them that they own. They explore who they are through the arcs of their plotlines. They have wants, needs, dreams, goals, motivations.
3. Stop people-pleasing.
We want to control other people’s perceptions of us. We want to be what they expect, want, and need us to be so we can be liked and accepted. This is not Main Character Energy.
4. Start doing your inner work.
We need to take a step back and examine this need for control, this need to be liked, this need to be needed.
These are usually the youngest parts of ourselves that we try to protect most because we feel the most vulnerable there, in our soft spots the spot deep in my core that holds on to the fear that I’m unlovable, bad, unworthy, undesirable, etc.
Main characters of all kinds have this vulnerable human quality, too. So what do we do with that part once we acknowledge it? See below on how to offer more kindness, compassion, and acceptance. Truthfully, this is hard work.
5. Stop criticizing and judging.
Some think that if they preempt others and point out their flaws first, then no one can hurt them or embarrass them or shame them first.
Sometimes, we learn from our role models what it’s like to pore over your every blemish and flaw, your every mistake, and not let up.
Main characters do not criticize themselves into a black hole, they learn what they need to learn, trust themselves to make the change, and move forward with their newfound learning and confidence. Cut back on the amount you cutting yourself down.
6. Start offering kindness and compassion.
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some compassion. They get into some kind of conflict, they have some sort of trial they work through it internally or otherwise to complete their story arc and learn the lesson, mend the relationship, meet the goal, accomplish the mission, etc.
See the bigger story at play here. You’re in a moment of trial, conflict, pain – you do not need to add more. You do not need to motivate yourself with shame and judgment and criticism.
7. Stop trying to be perfect.
The truth is that we can’t be perfect. It’s not in our DNA. All we can be is human; all we can be is ourselves.
The sooner we learn this, the freer we are to come to understand and seek the things that are of value to us and connect us.
Besides, a perfect main character is so boring because they have nothing that makes them interesting or human.
8. Start being vulnerable.
Humans find connections through vulnerability. It’s hard to be vulnerable when you’re trying to be perfect. Vulnerability makes for a great antidote to perfectionism. you do not need to be vulnerable all the time, nor should you be vulnerable with everyone.
Once you discern that it is the appropriate time and place to take some light risk, then please do share more of yourself, talk about something difficult for you, ask for help, or the like.
It can also be deeply rewarding and freeing. When we let people see us as the whole person we are, we learn to accept those hard parts of ourselves, too. The best main characters know how to find meaningful connections by being vulnerable and when to hold good boundaries and not be vulnerable.
What Is Energy Healing And How Can It Help? 8 Method You Should YouFind your way to this acceptance as often as you can, for it is not a destination, something we arrive at once and done; it’s a journey, mixed in with all the aforementioned grief, loss, denial, anger, anxiety, and pain.
Own that this is your journey and do with it what you can with what you’ve got. And remember, you’re unique, but you’re not alone. This is what it means to be alive. To be the main character of your own story, a story you own.
9. Don’t pursue things out of insecurities
You shouldn’t take action because you are insecure, you should take action because you value and love yourself.
This is quite difficult for some people to do, even me. Yet, it is the one thing that made me happier overall, by learning to love myself, and not taking action based on my insecurities.
Insecurities can be quite frustrating, where they will limit your progression. Instead, write down your issues and find new ways to solve your insecurity.
And when you have, pat yourself on the back, since you are now closer to being the person you always wanted to be.
10. Build connections
There is no point in life if you don’t build connections, connections can not only teach you valuable lessons, but they can also help you along the way.
Connections give you different opportunities, for example, attaining more views on your freelancing gig, or giving you work connections for a potential job.
How To Bounce Back Resilience And Why It Is Important In Life
Not only can connections help you in this aspect, but it allows you to help others too which is the best feeling in the world.
Comments
Post a Comment